Perving

get your perv on

I'm sure all of you have noticed what a gorgeous piece of man-ass Vergil has and how tight his trousers are. Come on, we've all looked, even if you are not a rabid fangirl, you must have seen it. And I think his ass and muscular arms are the main attraction to that costume. And the amulet is just a darling touch. Ever played the game and wondered where the best spot for a perv session is? Well, I can't play the game without searching, and this will be constantly updated until I have them all. Will not take long, since I can't play Vergil's game properly... and remember, kids! Hover over the images, I might have said something! And why am I doing this? I have nothing better do do with my time.

Special Edition Opening

the moment we've all been waiting for

Seriously. Sum this scene up? Ass and leg galore. When he is searching through the books in Arkham's library, we can get quick glimpses of the goodness behind the coat, and when he stretches his arm out, it pulls the material of the coat tighter, and the tighter it gets, the more of his muscular arms we get to see through his coat. No. I wasn't paying attention to what was said.

Next part of the opening, is him and Arkham stood at the foot of some stairs. Vergil even stands sexily. Anyway, so, Vergil kicks a large ammout of ass, but one of his moves forces the tails of his coat fly all over the place -- THE ASS. YOU GET TO SEE HIS ASS. Capcom have done well with this ass.

Level 1

Let's get this party started!

I actually selected the wrong costume for this level -- but not to worry. There wasn't that much assage, anyway. It was just fighting and they basically pile on top of you wanting to grab it for themselves. Selfish fucks...

Level 2

Now for the main events!

We get quite a good perving session out of this , lots of enemies, and that means lots of targets to lock onto, and well all know that when you lock onto targets, the camera zooms in a little (and in some cases a lot!). I headed towards the right of the screen, and got a views like this ! It works the same on the other end of the level, but it was a little dark, and my digital camera was being a shit head. Your first major boss is going to appear at any minute -- Hell's Vanguard! But don't let that be a reason to stop perving on Vergil, as the screen gets pretty close when it appears:

Level 3

Cerberus... all that drool

A disappointing level if you think about it. If this was Dante, he'd be swinging round that dancer's pole. But, oh, not Vergil. I never expected him to, since it isn't in his personality, but still... Anyway. The level starts up pretty close with his back to the camera. And one of the views was like this:

The camera outside the door of Bullseye is really close, so you can get a lot of perving done in this area especially on the inside have him dance on table tops around the jukeboxes and your first puzzle of the game... which isn't really a puzzle, but the game says it is.

Anyway, next up, Love Planet in the back. I remember when I first played the game. I tried so hard to get him to interact with the pole, but he didn't do anything. But he still looks hawt on the dancer's stage with all the flickering lights. Haha. And as you fight the enemies around this dancer's stage, you do get a lot of close ups!

Anyway, outside of Love Planet is another great place, especially around the rubble. It's a little dark, but you can see the ass. So that place is as good as any. Anyway, run up hill and enter the Ice Guardian's Chamber (see? I do pay attention to this game, I know what the rooms are called!) for your first guard of the tower: Cerberus! OoOOo, scary shit?

This room has to be one of the best. The camera gets that fucking close, you can see his ingame face!

Level 4

Extreme close-ups

This level had me hyperventilating. It was so close, I couldn't believe my eyes. The rooms with the stairs had Vergil that close, if you did Judgement cut or stinger, he would dive off screen and you could get a real quick glimpse of that action.

When you use your first mini lift up the tower, demons appear and the door you need to go through locks up, kill them, and the door opens again and we get this close up:

Then there was the chamber of sins. Now, this part actually pissed me off, because the camera gets real close, but the bastard demons are usually in the way or stabbing you, like these:

The giant centipede is next, and as this demon is flying over Vergil, he will look up at it, and the camera follows Vergil closely -- THE FUCKING WIN. Of course, this demon uses a lot of electrical attacks, so it is hard to perv on Vergil for a large period of time, but it is worth it! There are some smashed pillars on this level you can stand Vergil on, and it gets up super close (the lighting of this area made Vergil's face appear white in some cases) and we get to see him like this:

What a beautiful level. And here are larger shots of the ass:

1 - The chamber of sins close up!
2 - GLORIOUS.
3 - You get the same view when the boss comes back out.
4 - Screenshot is a bit dark.

Level 5

Even Jester wants to spank that ass!

And brand new to special edition -- the Jester as a boss! He is simple to defeat, and he is as amusing as hell! And you do get a fair ammount of assage. Jester has all these explosive projectiles, and it lights up everything... including our Vergil. Haha. Jester says he's going to "Spank you on the butt". Hahaha;lkjhg.

Agni and Rudra are the main bosses of this level, ignore Jester. Before entering their room, walk over to the edge of Temen-Ni-Gru and it gets pretty close. And in the boss' chamber, the camera gets up real close again, but sadly, I failed taking screenshots here. I had Agni and Rudra jumping all over the place, but there was decent assage here! Not as good as the other bosses of the game, but still worth a look.

Level 6

Who cares! We get more assage!

You know, the puzzles in this game are really simple! I think Capcom think we're dumb -- and that we'd struggle and stress over them. These aren't puzzles! These are nothing! NOTHING! But I don't care about the puzzles, we got some good views on this level, people! Oh, yes. Mainly around the front of the chamber of 3 trials and the stairs leading up to each chamber. The Trial of the warrior was the best spot. The camera followed Vergil closely across the bridge.

1 - Standing in front of the 3 trials. Interesting, huh?

Level 7

Two Vergils?! ORGY TIEM!

Another ridiculously short level. This is because we're heading up to the major boss of the level (and game, really): Vergil! Or in Vergil's game, people have called him "Vante".

You need to get some key items to proceed through the doors. One of them lies in the Divine Library and another in one of those annoying balls that drop from the ceiling and you only have a minute or something to smash it (Ouch, the frustration. Yeah, I suck at those.)! But before you smash the wall down -- hold your horses! Turn Vergil to face the camera and you'll get these darling views of his ingame face. And Capcom are that lazy, his lips aren't even animated when he taunts.

And some Dante! God DAMNIT. How did he find his way on a VERGIL shrine?! That is because I perv on the younger brother, too, you know. And the father when I unlock him...

And when you've done with this room, you head up to the top of Temen-ni-gru, where your... brother? waits for you. And, obviously, you have to kick this Vergil imposter's ass. Screenshots:

1 - Look at those arms...
2 - Look at that pose and hair of that "Vante" thing.
3 - A little... fight scene.
4 - Both me and the A.I. stare each other out.
5 - A while later he kicked my ass as he was too quick, and I was too slow to put the camera down. HA.

Level 8

Leviathan -- we've got your back, Vergil... boy, we've got it...

Okay, so, Vergil is stuck in some demon -- who gives a shit?Really. You can get a right good perv in this beast, even if the level does look a little hazy. Anyway, because the camera is so close to Vergil, it is almost permantly stuck round his ass unless that is just my eyes. And it is all uphill and downhill, so the views are quite divine. You can even stand him up against the wall, leave him, and watch what he does out of boredom of waiting for the player to make him move. Like this:

The Leviathan's eye socket of doom is also a great spot, especially around the stand where the ignis fatuus has been placed. You can also have him run right up to it, and the camera will follow pretty closely. And, wow, yeah, look at the view of Temen-Ni-Gru through the eye? No. That isn't very fangirly, is it? Anyway, now, have Vergil run around the eye socket closely to its walls, you will notice that the camera angle is working in our favour and is pretty damn close. Like the screenshot to the right . Keep on running along the wall until you've had enough, and Vergil might be feeling tired (Seriously, he doesn't, but I'm trying to make this. DRAMATIC.), so what you do, have him stand still, and you will be able to get this view of him:

Now, leave the room -- I mean eye socket. And you will come to some more tunnels where one of the Combat Adjudicators hide (Beowulf, I think, can't remember, and I'm not starting the game again to confirm it unless I stupidly save over his game with Dante's or something...), have him stand on the slight slopes throughout this area, and you should get more gawks at that gawdly piece of ass. Examples follow.

Of course, proceed through the level and continue perving. LE GASP. Some son of a bitch has interupted you! Dispose of this bastard creature of evil. You can do the following to do so: fight it, obviously, run away creating a rather out of character Vergil, or just continue perving regardless that Vergil is losing health and is about to die the longer you leave it. Which is what I'd usually do, but for this walkthrough, I decided to go with the first option. However, if you run away from this demon, the camera is infront, and you get a look at his cute face and thrusting arms, as he legs it, like a bitch. And if you turn him around quick enough, you get to see the ass.

Level 9

demon sluts FTW!

One of my favourite levels. Such a fun boss lies ahead. Why is she fun? She molests the character you play as if you're not quick enough to react, or you just let her catch them. Like me. Anyway. Lots of perving spots on this level First off, we get our first bit of ass on the bridge leading up to the main area of this level and then at the corridor at the end.

The biggest perv area on this has to be the provision storerooms. Oh, lala. Seriously. Before you get attacked by the spiders (female, I might add), have him stand next to the door like so:

Anyway, moving on, you get attacked by spiders (no reason to stop perving, mind. Just keep it up, watch those muscles of his flex as he throws his weight around). The spiders do have babies, and they walk across the floor, the spiders also tie Vergil up in a web if you suck like me and after you have disposed of them, kill the mini spider things, if they attach themselves to Vergil (like the lucky bastards they are), they do bite him (AGAIN. LUCKY!), and wow, look, you get more orbs to spend... like you need to do that with Vergil -- he hardly gets hit.

Anyway. I do have to point out, that those mini, baby spider things climb and attach themselves to Vergil. Anywhere on his body. His ass, arms, legs -- you get the picture. Sure, Vergil cries out in pain when they bite, but I couldn't help but look at them attached to a fine body such as his. And here is a screenshot of some around his ass, too.

Anyway, moving on to the next area -- it is a large area to cover, lots of open space. No. Not for you to explore. I was talking about the background, you just follow the path, perv and avoid all attacks from enemies and cut them up as Vergil looks and sounds sexy doing it. Beowulf's Lunar Phase is best, just look at his legs as he cartwheels in the air.

Anyway, at the end of this area, there is a cliff near the door. To the right of it there is a good view of his ass in the first screenshot, and the second is in front of a large rock right next to the same door.

Also, when you have the Ambrosia stone to enter Nevan's domain, you enter the cave under the water fall, the screen is that close, you get an awesome look at his ingame face and ass. Sadly, the cave was to dark to cap his ass, but his face was seen clearly.

Before heading to fight Nevan, place him in front of the door, you get a good view, because this area of the cave has awesome lighting and lights his backside right up.

Nevan is another boss that gives you perfect look at his ass, because you're locked onto the target and that brings the camera in closer, and his ass was right at the bottom of the screen! THE WIN!. Place him up near the lit candles that surround him -- how romantic! Also, have Vergil stand on the stage locked onto the target, Nevan, and you get this marvellous view. Yeah, I was fighting Nevan at the time, and yes, I was still perving on him.

All us fangirls envy Nevan. She gets to molest Dante, Vergil, and Sparda (if you have unlocked him). And we get to hear them moan (Vergil's does start off like his death cry, but wait until she grabs his face and pulls him in for the kiss -- he starts moaning in PROTEST [I actually started feeling sorry for Vergil. Oh, the shit he has to put up with when I play]. Unlike Dante, who was moaning like a complete bitch. Nevan has probably had most of the demon and human realm, Dante doesn't care, but Vergil obviously does. And Nevan probably had Cerberus. You may think I'm weird for thinking that, but dude, they are demons, they don't care.). It is amusing, and sadly, the Sparda boys are losing their health, so it is best to avoid this completely (which I usually do. She'll run after you giggling, so you know when she's going to make this move). This would be Vergil's daily life if he was real and surrounded by fangirls. But if he was surrounded by fangirls, they'd probably tear him limb from limb with their fighting. I'd be one of them.

Level 10

If he was in the England team, I think I'd turn hooligan, too

It is basically returning through the areas already crossed in the previous mission, but still tons of fun! but since Nevan has been defeated and disposed of for the time being, you can piss around in this area some more and get some decent gawks there. Placing him up near the candles work best, since the camera does get up close. Anyway, we're heading back to the bridge!

Anyway, so as you're leaving the sunken opera house where you fought Nevan, you'll be leaving the cave, it is all a little uphill at first, but at the top pf the first slope, the camera gets pretty close, turn him and maneuver the camera round to see his ass! Still not that close, but it is worth a lot, and we fangirls need every part of assage we can find!

You'll actually drop off a ledge on your way out, and there will be some demons round here , but since you're surrounded by demons, and you'll be switching targets, the camera again, gets pretty close up, and Force Edge is best, because there is a move so powerful it thrusts him off of the screen, and you can see his beautiful ingame face fly past the screen and if you're quick enough, you can turn him, grab a gawk at the ass, dodge enemy attacks and carry on the fight. I couldn't take a shot, because... well, dude? You try and take pictures of figting while smashing on you Playstation 2 controller then your camera! Anyway, outside of the cave, place the mask you got after fighting Nevan where it belongs, and it will raise a bridge, and as you're crossing it, the camera gets pretty close to hiss ass , and if you Devil Trigger to hurry the bridge crossing along, the coat tails will waft up, and we get to see his Devil Triggered ass, which also looks hot. To see ass in Devil Trigger, use any weapon. Beowulf!ass looks weird, but still, give it a try and look at it. Anyway, on your way back, you get the same view, but this time this time we see his face and a better look at those arms and legs pumping. And, aw, look, you can see that amulet. And random, but I'm listening to Metallica while writing this, and for some reason, I find writing it to the current album funny... considering that there "... And justice for all" is all serious...

I absolutly love those spiders in the provisions storerooms, and I just had to do it again. So here is more crack! Again, the spiders are probably the biggest fight you get into in this level, since there is no boss waiting for you, so this is the only place you can get a decent fight, and when you get surrounded by spiders, the camera closes in, and we get a look at the ass and face again. Sadly, I couldn't take a photo, because my Vergil ended up like this while I tried to:

But not to worry, folks. After breaking free, and started to beat the spider, I got some decent ass shots for you:

And, you know, they leave a trail of babies, and I got one right on an ass cheek. THE WIN!

Anyway, at the end of the level , you return to the bridge, and Vergil uses the key item. But to do so, he has to kick it across a large distance. It is make or break time. If he fails, he loses the ball down the black hole. With his excellent display of his foot work and bouncing the ball in his hands (His hands have been all over it...! QUICK. LICK THE BALL. Hahaha.lkjhgfd. That sounded perverted.), he gives it a powerful kick into place on the otherside of the room. There was a decent shot of his ass, but I missed it, because I was perving and forgot about the camera. I played the level again, and missed it again.

Totally unrelated, but I got this end of level shot with Yamato equipped. Obviously cropped to focus on what I'm getting at.

Level 11

Beowulf *Hyperventilates*

Another good shot for assage and amusing enemies. I really enjoyed myself with this level. After the gears of madness, you get to this long corridor, just have him walk down it and watch him strut his stuff. It was hypnotic. You do get interupted by demons, and like a sadistic bitch, I let them catch him and choke him, like so:

Anyway, once you've finished playing around in that room, you get to a room that is like a giant alter thing. Of doom. STAND HIM BY THE UGLY FACED COLUMNS. THE VIEW IS FANTASTIC.

Anyway, carry on with the level, and you have to climb to higher grounds to activate the doors to proceed, and while moving the blocks, I had to stop and look over the balchony, because again, the view was fucking mind blowing! I LOVE TEMEN-NI-GRU~!:

And when you've finished with what you were doing with the blocks, jump down, and place him on the stairs in front of the three stone heads that are crying tears of blood like so:

Of course, he is stood like that because there are enemies waiting for him. I don't care. I bought this copy of the game, and I can play how I damn well want :p.

You eventually meet the boss of this level, which is Beowulf. I know he is big, tough and is very quick -- but dude. Lots of assage, especially when he is standing over you. I tried so hard to get the assage shots, but the best one I could come up with was:

Yeah, the ass was so close and lit up by the flames and stuff. Sadly, Beowulf killed me after taking that screenshot, and in a fit of temper, I decided it was my turn to wipe the floor with him. The big bitch. But you get decent views of his ass while fighting him, because Beowulf is tall, and the camera is slightly under Vergil and looking up towards the fast moving target. I was pleased.

Level 12

Bleh... oh, and, wow, horsey of doom :|

Not much, lots of fighting, and it is all in Devil Trigger (which I do find sexy, but I couldn't mess around too much, since, you know, Vergil is dying in this mission...) but I did manage to get these two shots:

Level 13

The lair of judgement... what? They wanted to perv, too?!

I'm sorry guys, I did take a few screenshots from this scene, but the quality wasn't very good. The camera does get pretty close around the first areas of the level, though, so be sure to spend some perving time in those areas. You eventually come up to some stairs, and the walk down is so exciting thanks to the assage we get! Also, on the way down, there is a secret mission. Don't know where it is? Dude, don't worry, you shouldn't be able to miss it. On your way down, notice the lights? One of them is red -- you shouldn't miss this. It is like a billboard advertizing it's presence. And it is the easiest, as you just have to slaughter everything and Vergil is a powerhouse so nothing lasts long with him and we get lots of assage -- because remember, locking on to targets is out best friend. Not because it is helpful, but because it gets closer to Vergil and that is what we want!

Eventually you will get your key item -- which opens up the Lair of Judgement where Vante waits for you. You get to that large door, place your key item in it and just look at how close that camera gets to the back of him! sdfghjkl; I know Capcom thought Vergil's ass would please fangirls -- why else would they make it so sexy?! They could have put little effort into it, and they didn't even have to make the camera get that close to him, surely! Anyway, after gawking at Vergil's ass, I think it is a good idea to actually proceed further into the game. You know, it helps. Anyway, as the door opens, Vergil's sexy battle theme music starts and you have to fight Vante. This time, Vergil Vante uses his devil trigger and his new best friend, Beowulf. I tried to get a shot of him going through that sexy transformation, but the energy fields around him blew me away from him and I missed it -- I knew I missed it, because Vante came at me from above and stamped on me. Two Vergil's grunting and growling is very distracting...

Level 14

-

Not much here. These are what I got:

Level 15

I hate this level

I really hate this level. We are returning to areas that have just gotten crazy, and I'm way too impatient for this shit. But, you know, there is a lot of Spiders and things, so have a play with them. And one of the switches got pretty close:

?!

WHERE'S THE REST, YOU LAZY BITCH!

Still working on them!

Devil May Cry (1)

Hmmm, muscular

Nelo Angelo doesn't reveal anything. Yes, I have looked. He has a glowing crotch area, though.

Conclusion

The obvious by now

To answer your questions: Yes, I am on crack. No, I don't have anything better to do with my time. But I hope it amused you. I used up a lot of my supplies to take these perv-shots screenshots, so you better be happy.