Vergins

They exist! *spits*

Yes, Vergins. We've all come across these tasteless creatures -- oh, "Vergin"? A name for those people who deny the sheer hotness of Vergil or even his badass ways. Yes. Those people (See the Vergetionary). But what is it like living with a Vergin? sdfghjkl; TERRIBLE. ABOSOLUTLY TERRIBLE, IF YOU SHARE A PLACE WITH A VERGIN, KICK THE FUCKER OUT! ESPECIALLY WHEN THE VERGIN CANNOT SEE ANY FORM OF COOLNESS OR GOOD LOOKS... well... unless you're like me, and that Vergin you live with is the person who brought you into this world and actually keeps a roof over your head... like my mother.

I'm not joking. My mother is a Vergin. My siblings are raging fools who get random laughs from Jester, but no one sees the sexiness or coolness of Vergil. I've tried. But I've failed. How, I don't know.

It was like this one day, I never really suspected that mother was a Vergin, because, well, you don't really expect your mother to make random comments while she watches you play a game, do you? So, there I was, watching the scene where Arkham and Vergil see Lady arrive on top of the tower and have their little discussion. The room was perfectly quiet, until my mother asked me this question. Oh, I nearly had a heart attack:

"Is that in the blue coat a girl?"

asdfgjhkl;' Of course, being a raging Vergil fangirl, I ranted and raved at her for awhile.

Next time, I was taking screenshots, and Vergil's sexy little face was on screen, and this comment she made shattered my little world.

"Ah, so that's your Vergil? He's fucking ugly."

Another ranting and raving session, and I explained that it was her son-in-law she's talking about! Yeah, my mother knows I'm a loon.

Next time, I had a random scene on while playing, and she said he talks the biggest ammount of bollocks she's ever heard, I thought she was talking about Arkham, but she said "Not that bald bastard! That fucker with the stupid white hair!" SDFGHJKL;'! I EXPLAINED THE WHITE HAIR AND THAT IT ADDS TO SEXINESS, BUT SHE DIDN'T GET IT, AND TOLD ME IF I WANTED A MAN WITH WHITE HAIR, THERE IS ALWAYS THAT OLD MAN WE WORK WITH. sdfghjkl; Serious sdfghjkl;.

She doesn't think he's badass, she doesn't think he's hot, she doesn't even think he's interesting! However, I tried her with Dante, asking her if she thinks he is hawt and badass, she wouldn't answer. She tried to change the subject, and she was smiling! BUT I DON'T WANT HER TO BE A CLOSET DANTE FAN. I WANT HER TO LIKE VERGIL.

Oh, well, atleast she puts up with my ranting and raving about Vergil... which will get worse when he's in the forth game...

jester

My older brother likes Jester, has his STUPID "Yoohoo" sound as a message tone and thinks he's hilarious -- so hilarious, I had to put a scene on repeat, now, thanks to that 'tard, I'm sick of seeing it.

My little sister also likes Jester. But I think she secretly thinks Vergil is a hot piece of man flesh -- AND WAS ACTUALLY READING HIS MANGA. Plus, she watches random Vergil scenes when I do, and it's very unlike her to keep her stupid mouth shut most of the time, but she was quiet! Infact, she was later encouraging me to fangirl over his ass -- something I only really do in front of mother because it actually scares her.

The light?

oh, how there might be light

I was playing in bloody Palace mode one time, and, of course, Vergil wasn't wearing his coat, so his gorgeous piece of man ass was in view, my mother got back from work and walked into the room I play the games in, and she actually said "He's actually got a nice ass". That night was made of win.

Actually, one day, we were randomly talking about Vergil, and I told her about how I feel about her Vergin ways, and how she has a really bad taste in men, which is true. No. Unbelievably true. She's been married twice, and as far as I know, they were both fucktards. I told her this -- I have never seen her laugh so much, and told me it was so true.

And this, kids? This is what happens when you're pretty close to your mother, so close, you randomly fangirl about video games and your favourite pixel men at her, and make her laugh because of it. She does actually like Metal Gear Solid when I play... but she is so negative about the looks of Big Boss, who is like some raging sexual beast with all that muscle and facial hair, but this isn't a Big Boss shrine, so I'll not get into that. Infact, everyone in my house think Big Boss is ugly, and siblings seem oblivious to Vergil's existance most of the time.

What is this actually about? I don't know. I just wanted to write it.